With the explosion of mind numbing “reality” TV shows, it appears as though the “in” thing these days is to be loud, obnoxious, disrespectful, and for all practical purposes a complete and utter tool. Currently, the most popular shows are those starring people who feel they must behave in the worst way possible to garner some camera time. As if they, and they alone, are above common decency, standard mores, and sometimes the law itself.

Shnookie Loompa

I have news for you, Shnookie, it isn’t acceptable. Just because you are orange, slovenly, stumbling drunk, and more than likely quite odiferous, doesn’t mean you can do what you want with no  repercussions. Unfortunately, Shnookie and her ilk are leading the charge of the dim-brigade as they become role models to our “I deserve the world” youth.

Who has to deal with the bottom of the barrel people more often than the rest of us, the Police! Say what you want about them, but these civil servants have to handle poorly behaved losers on a daily basis. Can you imagine having to deal with drunk, loud, obnoxious cretins of society EVERY SINGLE DAY! The patience that the police must display is truly of biblical proportions. If it were me, and let’s all thank God it isn’t, I would not be able to hold back from unloading a full three gigawatts of taser induced electricity into their back-talking, smart ass, poor grammar, corn muffin heads! How the police don’t do this is utterly beyond my comprehension. They should all be commended for showing Gandhi-like grace under fire.

The police are the ultra-thin blue line between respectable society and low-life lawless stink holes. Most people, strangely enough, treat the police as if they are the enemy within. They are not. If you’ve ever been pulled over for speeding, (and really who hasn’t), you should treat the officer with the utmost respect and courtesy. He is doing his job.  You, on the other hand, are breaking the law.

Look, even if you were pulled over when you weren’t speeding, let’s face it, there have been 378 other times when you got away with it! So take the ticket, don’t yell, don’t give him an attitude, don’t be an ass, and understand that more than likely you deserve it.

If, on the other hand, you have committed a more serious crime and have the misfortune of being handcuffed and placed in the back seat of a squad car, don’t whine like a Goth girl on yearbook picture day. And for the love of God, don’t act like you are surprised they found some crack in your cigarette case. “I have no idea how that got there!” Really Jethro, you don’t know how the crack got there? It probably was one of your scab-encrusted friends playing a “gotcha” joke on you. Because you know how free-flowing crack addicts are with their drugs. “A little for you, a little for me, a little for the hobo on the corner, and look – just enough left over to play a joke on my pals” – just ask Whitney!

Maybe what we need to do is take the TV show “Cops” to the next level. Oh yes, THE NEXT LEVEL! I say we let the police beat, taser, kick, pummel, and basically beat the living hell out of ANYONE who runs from them. How great would that show be! When I watch Cops. I constantly cheer for the police to dole out some street justice. Oh, and if any of you ACLU-loving, drum circle, cabbage smelling vegan, earth first dandies have a problem with it, TOO BAD! I bet their myopic attitudes would change the second the criminals invade their homes and hurt someone in their families.

Let’s all take a deep breath, and hold our attitudes and tongues in check when dealing with the police. They may give you a ticket or two from time to time, but they are the first ones we call when there is real trouble. They are ones who go to work everyday with the knowledge that some human waste of DNA could take away their future. They keep the rats in the cage from completely annihilating each other, so perhaps instead of throwing an attitude we should just offer them a “thank you and have a nice day.”

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