If you are going to mark your skin PERMANENTLY make sure you ink yourself with something that has meaning. What does a tribal symbol barbed wire tattoo wrapped around a pencil thin arm say about you? Well “Mr. Creative” it means you have absolutely no imagination and you probably picked out your tattoo from the book at the tattoo shop. Following our intrepid out of the box thinker “Mr. Creative” is the drunken muffin top sorority girl who picked out that “special” butterfly from the aforementioned book. Where on her body will she place this ground-breaking work of art? Yes, you guessed it she will be the 5,349,873 girl to get her “tramp stamp”. Unfortunately for the rest of the world the only way to show off this seminal piece of monochromatic art work is to wear her pants ‘eye bleedingly’ low on her hips, “make it stop”, “make it stop”, “make it stop”!
And yet these two denizens of academia don’t hold a candle to the “yeah, I’ve stabbed someone with a fork” neck tattoo guy. Oddly enough for some strange reason he just can’t quite land that lucrative corporate job with his “I Hate Cops” tattoo peeking out from his not so clean, short-sleeved white shirt. Don’t feel bad for him though he can always go back to the trailer park and drink away his sorrows with his completely sleeved buddy. You know the guy with so many tattoos it’s impossible to make out even one because of the visual overload of “cover up” tats. And while I’m sure he no longer loves “Shirley” I’m not 100% sure that the Koi fish death skull completely covers up her name.
Face Tattoos. Face Tattoos! So bizarre I had to say it twice. A face tattoo, a FACE TATTOO! Why not just make a battery powered electric t-shirt that says “For the rest of my life, PLEASE everyone STARE at ME!” Oh and God forbid you do steal a 2.45 second glance, you get verbally chastised with an angry “What are you looking at!” “Um, well the kids and I are staring at your FACE Professor Hawking!” What the hell do you think everyone is staring at, your romantic piercing blue eyes? A face tattoo begs the “Would You Rather” question; would you rather get a face tattoo OR have a racist spewing mouth that never stops talking in the middle of your forehead? If, however you are of Maorian decendency then please ignore this last paragraph.
And what the hell is going on in the NBA? The individualistic players these days are the guys who actually don’t have tattoos. Doesn’t it seem as though we’ve crossed over into an upside backwards world? No longer are the rebels the one’s with body ink, nope it’s the people who don’t follow the pied piper of trendy American fads. Oh and just in case you are wondering face piercing are SOOO 3 years ago, they didn’t look good then and the puss infected crater they’ve left behind doesn’t look good today. I think I see your cliff approaching – lemming!