By now every single person between the ages of 3 and 93, and a few of the smarter cephalopods, has been subjected to the never-ending issue of gay marriage. Can we finally put this issue to bed. Fine, fine make it a Lucy and Ricky separate single bed for all the prudes.ricky_lucy

I am exhausted of this debate, whether or not gay people should be allowed to get married. For the love all things bedazzled unicorn – who the hell cares!?!?!?! I would like just one person to give me a logical reason why they are against gay marriage. To date I haven’t heard one, not ONE!

If you are against gay marriage because you believe it is against your religion, fine I get that. I don’t agree with you but I do understand that you have a perverted viewpoint. However, I do have a number of questions for the copious amount of people that like to use the Bible as an instrument of discrimination:

  1. Is your religion the ONLY religion in America? Methinks not!
  2. Should we make laws based on YOUR religion? I’m going with a resounding NO!
  3. Why aren’t people as up in arms over divorce like they are over homosexuality? It’s odd because it is the EXACT same sin in the bible as is homosexuality. By the way they are both sins against man NOT against God.

These religious people like to quote the Bible in regards to why they are against homosexuality. They tend to quote Leviticus:leviticus

  • Leviticus 18:22 – “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”
  • Leviticus 20:13 – “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.”

And just because I can, I’m going to include this tasty little morsel that for some strange reason we never hear about:

  • Deuteronomy 22:13-21 says a marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.

So it looks like 99.9999% of marriages are not valid, uh oh. Is it starting to get warm in here?

Now I’m not going to bother bringing up the HUNDREDS of other rules/laws that are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy that these same people ignore outright or simply don’t care about. However, when you do bring up the other laws they like to say that Jesus died on the cross so we don’t have to follow the old laws any longer. Well apparently none except for the one about homosexuality AND the Ten Commandments. Oh, and just in case you missed this little biblical nugget:

  • Matthew 5:17 – “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill.”

If you don’t understand the aforementioned quote, it’s Jesus literally saying he did not come to get rid of the old laws! So, if you really are a believer you might want to rethink your take on the old laws.

Here are a few arguments you may have heard regarding gay marriage (with delicious sarcastic retorts):Spearswedding

  1. “Gay marriage will make traditional marriage less meaningful”. Unlike Brittany Spears’ 55 hour Las Vegas Marriage?
  2. “Gay parents will raise gay children”. Like the way straight parents ONLY raise straight children!
  3. “Being gay isn’t natural”. Kind of like eyeglasses, air conditioners, Jorts, most medicine, guns, spray cheese, artificial hearts, well you get where I’m going.
  4. “Legalizing gay marriage will open the floodgates to people marrying children, rocks or animals”. Slippery slope arguments are for dumb people who can’t think. PLUS two CONSENTING adults are a WEEEE bit different than a dog or a 12-year old!
  5. “Children need to have a male and female role model in the house”. Which means if people divorce, die or go out for a pack of smokes and never come home we need to immediately remove their children since they no longer have both parents in the house.
  6. “Traditional marriage is written into the law so we can’t change it”. I guess we should also take the rights of women voters away and put black people back in chains since those laws were changed as well. Boobs!

The bottom line is that there is NO logical reason why we are discriminating against gay people. My marriage is in no way affected by any one else’s marriage, be they straight, gay, leprechaun or Smurf. If your marriage is affected by someone else’s marriage you really need to take a long hard (he he he) look at your marriage. Because it sure as hell isn’t based on love!

If you are against gay marriage I encourage you to write me and let me know exactly WHY you are against it. And please do so with intelligence and logic, “just because” is NOT a reason to anyone over the age of four!

3 Comments

  1. Mmmmm… spray cheese. I LOVE spray cheese.

  2. Gay people can marry people of the opposite sex, where’s the discrimination?

  3. How long have you been gay?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>