1. “He Came out of Nowhere” – Unless there is an overlapping 4th dimension – he actually did come from somewhere!
  2. Old men CONSTANTLY clearing their throats – Do you develop massive quantities of phlegm when you age? How much time do I have left?
  3. Singing commercials – If my insurance agent breaks into song I’m punching him in the ear and taking my business elsewhere.Singing
  4. People that use toothpicks in public, especially when they eat the food off it – Just horrifically disgusting.
  5. Medication commercials – shouldn’t my doctor be advising me on what I should be taking? Not the other way around!
  6. People who lick their fingers – That’s why we have silver wear and napkins you disgusting phallic lick!
  7. Anyone who watches TMZ – Enough said.
  8. Coffee stir straws – What are these stir straws for ants?
  9. Joshua Feurstein – A terrible, hate filled person masquerading as a “Christian”.
  10. The word “monies” – I know it’s proper it just shouldn’t be!
  11. Family Circus – Absolutely not funny in any way. How did this ever get published?Family_Circus
  12. People who use the word “lover” – Bleh! Are you a disgusting, hairy, Birkenstock wearing hippie from 1972?
  13. Guys who wear knit hats to the gym – My head is melting just seeing you!
  14. Mouth breathers – Gross.
  15. When someone says “Ginormous” – It’s not a word!!!!
  16. Pope Francis – Because he…oh wait a minute I like this guy!
  17. Tire Repair Stores – It makes absolutely no difference what time or day you go, it will ALWAYS take an hour and thirteen minutes.
  18. The commercial for Enbrel – “for my moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis.” WHICH ONE IS IT??????
  19. VentriloquistVentriloquists – At no point in history has THIS ever been entertaining!
  20. Pokemon – It’s for children you adult lame asses!
  21. Thumb rings – This one should be obvious to everyone.
  22. “Across the Pond” – Such an elitist phrase AND it’s an ocean you twit!
  23. People who keep praising Heath Ledger’s joker – Constantly licking your lips does not a great performance make.
  24. “I am the mother to two AMAZING” – Yes everyone’s children are amazing and can perform calculus at age 2.Speed_Limit
  25. People who drive the speed limit – It’s a suggestion unless the police are near – GO FASTER!!!!
  26. Shopping on Amazon Prime – It’s too easy to spend WAY MORE money than you thought you did!
  27. The fact that you can buy a brand new printer with ink for less than it costs to buy replacement ink cartridges.
  28. “I misremembered that” – Translation = Yeah, I lied about that.
  29. “As a parent…” – Yes, because people who don’t have kids possess no feelings whatsoever.

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