Chicken Little was right, at some point the sky will fall. Of course it is billions of years in the future when our Sun will expand, engulf and then utterly destroy our solar system. But I’m guessing I won’t be around to enjoy the fireworks, unless of course Douglas Adams was right. And the Vegas odds are that a global disaster will obliterate our planet many times over by the time the Sun takes its final curtain call.

Which begs the question “why do so many loons predict the world will end on a certain day and time”? Just how big are their egos? What happens to these people on the day after their predictions? Do their friends mock them relentlessly until they cry like a little girl, you know, like I would? Truly the only people who have had predictions come to any sense of fruition are science fiction writers, and theirs are more educated extrapolations as opposed to true predictions.

“What about Nostradamus” you say; well his quatrains are completely nebulous and open to vastly different interpretations. They are not specific, nor clear to the reader in any sense. Did you know he was an apothecary? A French apothecary! He was the Miss Cleo of his day, with followers to this day who still believe him to be a psychic. Trust me, if he were still around not only would he have a 900 number, but he would also have a reality TV show, a web site, and an infomercial to hawk his wares. “For only $5 you too can find love and riches.”

The latest prophecy that won’t come true is the 2012 myth, based on a Mayan calendar that ends in the year 2012 (we think). The fact of the matter is that the calendar does end in 2012, at which point the next Mayan calendar cycle begins. Sorry all of you patchouli smelling hippies but it’s true. Do a little research before you believe something. Oh, and while you are at it please take off those ridiculous crystals, use a bar of soap, and for the love of god wash your hair! Organic soap, olive oil, bee butt juice and salt licks don’t work – you still stink! By the way, ask yourself this question; if the Mayans were so damn smart why didn’t they see their demise coming?

The time of tribulation, if you don’t know what it is, and honestly why would you, it is believed by some to be a seven-year period that will come after the age of the “Church” (roughly 2,000 years, so right about NOW). During this time Jesus will come down from heaven and members of the “church” will meet him mid-air and be whisked away to eternal paradise. All the while here on earth the rest of us will be lead by the anti-Christ, who will rule the earth and demand we worship him as God. At the end of the seven years of complete and utter demonic activity, Jesus will once again descend to earth and establish his new kingdom entitled the “Millennial Kingdom”.  Almost sounds like an Aesop fable, doesn’t it? Now I don’t want to cast dispersions on someone’s belief system, but really, REALLY! There are just so many things wrong with this fable I simply don’t know where to begin. So I’m just going to let it go. “Mid-Air” ahhhhh a flying dream, what was it that Freud said about flying dreams?

The fact of the matter is that odds are the people on this planet will either be completely or partially wiped out by a natural catastrophe, a meteor, a super volcano, a new ice age, a super bug, or even a rip in the time-space continuum (it could happen). But NO ONE knows when or where any of these events will happen. Okay we do know that Yosemite is the only super volcano on earth, so at least on that front we do know where, just not when. And really it’s the when that is kind of the most important factor. So unless you are one of these wack jobs that likes to give their money away to the first doomsayer that comes along, let’s all relax and realize we have a few billion years left, give or take.

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