As you know, and you had better by now, I tend to write about people in general, rarely do I devote an entire article to a single individual. Thus far I have done so with Michael Moore and Ted Nugent. Well it looks like I have another tool to add to the shed!

David Wild (sic) is an American writer, mostly for Rolling Stone magazine and liner notes the world over. If you have never heard of him you aren’t alone, most people haven’t. Unfortunateladam_davidy for Adam Carolla’s listening audience, he likes to have David Wild on his podcast from time to time. In my life I have NEVER heard someone drop more names into a conversation as often as he does. It’s like trying to avoid raindrops in a typhoon inside a hurricane wrapped in a F5 tornado!  Seriously I don’t think he can complete ONE sentence without ejaculating a famous name.

Additionally, he is not content with just bringing up the name. OH NO! He brings up the name how they met, who introduced them, how many times he has been to their mansion, how utterly amazing their last album was, and of course when last they were in communication. If you think I’m exaggerating track down an episode of Adam’s podcast with David Wild on it!

He may in fact be a nice man, I have no idea I can’t get past his heretofore unseen level of insecurity which causes him to be a blow-hard10. Even Donald Trump thinks he needs to tone down the self-promotion. After you track down an episode of Adam’s podcast and have listened to Mr. Wild please read the following in the Freddy Kruger nails on chalkboard voice of David Wild:

“Oh sorry I’m late Adam, but I was just having coffee with The Edge, Yoko Ono, two members from Steely Dan and The Dalai Lama. We were discussing the book I’m writing with Crazy Legs Conti and the liner notes I’m writing for the upcoming re-re-release of the Chickenfoot album.”dalai_lama

“Yoko and I were telling everyone about the new years eve party when Gordon Lightfoot played on the balcony while me, Steve Tyler, Carrot Top, H.R. Puffinstuf and Emmanuel Lewis did some coke off of Courtney Loves left butt cheek.”

“After I finished my rail I went over to speak with Charles Nelson Riley to let him know that his spoken poetry album was simply the best album I have ever heard. I asked him if he had listened to an obscure track that only I know about from Queen. It’s on the C side of Queen II. You actually have to play the album on it’s edge to hear it. And only Freddie Mercury and I have players that will do that, so I recorded it and have it hear on my Walkman.”

“Oh hey Benny Mardones… I just listened to your latest album and it is by far the best album I have EVER heard. The re-mix dub version of Into The Night was genius, really the best song I have ever heard.’ Hey there’s the original drummer from Hermans Hermits, I have to go tell him how amazing his throat chanting album is…”

3 Comments

  1. I have never heard of the latest “TOOL” in your shed, david wild…… but I trust your judgement and he is obviously a heel in your craw! Slam away on this tool, I don’t like brown nosers and he sounds like a big one! Glad to see your back to writing, we missed your rants! hee hee hee…………

  2. Did you know David Wild and Steve Martin have been best chums since childhood? Virtually inseparable. In fact, Wild claims one of Martin’s most famous bits was named after the two of them: Two “Wild” and “Crazy” Guys.

  3. And he’s so handsome, too!

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