Barry Bonds Why He’s Better Than You or You Couldn’t Hit a Baseball if You took all the Steroids in the World!By Ask An Angry Jew — Leave a Comment
The man is an amazingly talented athlete who possesses a skill set that we all wish we had. I certainly know I do! Have any of you ever had the opportunity to stand at the plate at Yankee Stadium before 50,000 screaming New York fans and try to hit a 90-mile an hour fastball? I’m guessing not. I would imagine it’s like watching Casper the ghost fly by while you are on a crazy peyote trip only the Mayans could understand. By the time 99.99999999 percent of the world takes a swing the catcher is already throwing the ball back to the pitcher and thanking you for fanning him on such a hot day!
Barry Bonds on the other hand can put the bat on the ball and swing with such incredible velocity that the ball travels approximately 400 feet. Granted, taking steroids may add a few yards to the total distance traveled it does absolutely NOTHING to help with his hand-eye coordination. If it did being a professional athlete would be but a painful needle shot away for the rest of the world. But alas poor Yorick it is simply not that easy. One must have spent a considerable amount of time doing the backstroke in a clean and clear gene pool that hasn’t been sullied with the DNA of mere mortals.
It takes an innate talent that has been honed to near-perfection with years and years of practice and sacrifice to compete on a professional level. Oh sure every generation or so a complete freak of nature comes along who seems to be a man (or woman) playing amongst boys (or girls); Michael Jordan, Lebron James, the Williams Sisters, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, Muhammad Ali, and of course Tiger Woods pre-multi-million-divorce settlement “get away from me with that driver Elin! “
For the most part though, professional athletes are finely tuned machines that can perform certain acts that the rest of us only dream about. Kind of like the dream where we can all fly. Not the one where you are school butt naked without your science project! They are Ferrari’s driving around in our rusted Gremlin world. What does it feel like to drive the lane, pass around two defenders and leap above a 7-foot man and slam a basketball with force and style? Sadly I, like you, will never know. Even if I took steroids that were intended for a horse I still wouldn’t be able to hit a professional fastball, nor would you!
Baseball purists say he doesn’t deserve to be in the hall of fame because of his, supposed, steroid use. The fact of the matter is that the absolute closest most of us will get to this level is playing MLB 2011 on the PS3. The comparison of him against players of the past is sort of a moot point since we have no idea what those players put into their systems and when. If we could take the Wayback Machine with Mr. Peabody and look in on these icons of baseball past would we see them sniffing cocaine or actually drinking it in the original Coke. Maybe they took the supplement of the day – ground up Dodo eggs with a side of ectoplasm. And while I joke you really can’t compare today’s athlete with yesterday’s. It’s like comparing a computer to an Etch-a-Sketch.
So stop all the armchair quarterback whining and moaning and let the man alone. He deserves to be in the hall and fame and to hold the most home runs record of all time. You deserve another Pabst Blue Ribbon!