Have you seen how unbelievably shameful some teenage girls are dressing these days? I have, and I must say “Heavens to Murgatroyd!” While the hep chicks may think it’s the cat’s meow, let me assure you old bean, it is NOT the bee’s knees. In no possible way would anyone ever consider me prudish. But …

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“He Came out of Nowhere” – Unless there is an overlapping 4th dimension – he actually did come from somewhere! Old men CONSTANTLY clearing their throats – Do you develop massive quantities of phlegm when you age? How much time do I have left? Singing commercials – If my insurance agent breaks into song I’m …

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I may not be the young virile man I once was, or more accurately, thought I was. But for the love of Geras do I have to start losing my memory so early! I’ve NEVER been good at remembering names but it seems these days not only can I not remember names, but I seriously …

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